I’ve been pondering recently, as the nights draw in and the darkness feels a little more pressing, the effect that has on how all of us feel and how it changes our awareness of the world around us.
There seems to have been so many challenges for people lately, although that is not without the acknowledgement that life is always a multicoloured, multi textural experience of highs, lows and all that is in-between. It appears, even from reading our church chat, that the small challenges have been getting bigger, the big challenges becoming enormous and for some this leads to self examination that instead of feeling like the challenge of growth from God doesn’t always feel as though it is from Him.
I wanted to take this opportunity to share a piece of music, Fantasia on a theme of Thomas Tallis by composer Ralph Vaughan Williams. As I was (re)listening to this I felt this expressed musically/aurally the same pondering I had when thinking about this wrestle with the light and the dark.
The theme of this piece (the Thomas Tallis part) is cited as taken from the English Hymnal of 1906 however Thomas Tallis composed this chant, then used in the hymnal, in the 1500’s. A small chronological thread in biblical terms but still a thread of nearly half a century as you read this today. For me as its origins were to commune with, and worship, God which was then explored even further by RVW I find that for me it does just that.
As I listened I allowed myself to be engulfed in the tension and the beauty of this piece, the anticipation, the swells of joy and the moments of stillness. A fantasia, as a form of music, is a piece that has themes that interplay and move around each other - much like a community of people do. As the piece opens there are moments of glorious swelling and points of harmonic unison that feel like ‘everything is going to be wonderful’ but then it is interspersed with conflicting harmony which at times can feel eerie or perhaps even dark. Tremolo in parts that feels edgy - like the bite of frost on the fields. There are parts that feel audaciously victorious and others that feel quietly confirming.
This piece lasts 14 minutes and may not be everyones cup of tea, however I recommend it is worth the listen especially if you can find a calm still moment and press into God.
If you do listen I encourage you to listen all the way to the very end as it finishes on the most glorious cadence like the promise of God (James 1:12, Psalms 91:16).
As the fantasia wanders through it is possible to hear courage, peace, patience, uncertainty, the wrestle between parts creating tension. At some points as you think all is subdued, perhaps ending, then sudden and sweeping cellos come in. Isn’t that so expressive of the battles that we experience both earthy and spiritually? The moments that we feel under attack or disrupted and the moments we feel we have peace. Please don’t read this wrongly I mean in our human sense, not the deep peace we have as children of God or the security and safety that also comes with that. I mean when the enemy comes prowling with ‘not enough’, ‘not loved’, ‘not worth it’ thoughts and narratives that are never of God. If you choose to listen see which parts resonate with you and which parts you find more challenging, this may help you to reflect up on things in your own life. To add not always directly but we may find things/feelings we are seeking within music or equally things/feelings that we are avoiding which can help us work these out with God.
As I watched the sunrise this morning I listened to this piece of music (I would encourage you to do so if you get the chance - just you, God and this music) and reflected upon how even one of our greatest promises, each day, each sunrise, can also be a wrestle - perhaps even more so at this time year. The changing colours, the rays bursting through the cloud cover, the bands of darkness that appear to try and wrap around the rays and then of course the long shadows that the very glorious sunrise itself creates. What a blessing to see this and know that it will happen again tomorrow and the next day and the next (Deuteronomy 31:6)
So as we press into the light, or as Lizi advised us to ‘keep looking at the Son’ (John 8:12) we are reminded that the darkness can not stop a flame burning brightly, a flame in the dark is even more distinct, even brighter, - and that a flame can light another without being diminished or extinguished.
So I encourage each of us to keep looking for the light and sharing your flame with everyone - so we can grow the light together.
With blessings
Nicki
Footnotes: I have not written out the scriptures as I would love for you to look them up.
The version I was listening to was performed by the Chicago Symphony Orchestra, there are many fine versions available online for free. If any one would like me to suggest one please ask.
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